Last Updated on January 5, 2022 by Latrice
I’m trying something new here so bare with me. I am determined to get over my fears and post regularly. Like many, I have a fear of looking stupid or new. Hilarious considering I am kind of new at this and yes, I might even look stupid.
For over a year, I have allowed these fears to keep me from posting regularly like I want. And I’ve been too frightened to start freelance writing.
There are several limiting, lacking, and negative thoughts I’ve allowed to hold me back. Many I wasn’t aware of until I started taking a serious look at my life.
Each situation going on in my life, including my tendency to binge eat and my challenge with food addiction, is a result of the ways I’ve been thinking about my life and myself.
negative beliefs: not enough & missing out
Two beliefs that stuck out were that I’m not ready or good enough to go for what I want and I’ll miss out if I don’t take the right steps or don’t take what is offered now. I believe these beliefs have manifested themselves into my life as a desired, but not started freelance writing business, a challenge with healing my body, and taking crap.
I’ve been too scared to start my freelance writing because I believe I’m not ready. I’ve binge eating because I feel I’m missing out on “good” foods. And I’ve dated crappy men that make promises they really can’t keep because I’ve feared losing out.
I’ve done my thinking a bit ass backwards, to say the least. But I’m learning so that’s good. Right? Of course it is.
To build better beliefs that’ll drown out the limiting ones, I’ve started using affirmations regularly. I sniff money and tell myself I’m one with an enormous amount of money. I’ve taped affirmations to my bathroom mirror to read while I wash my face and do my makeup or do my hair.
I’ve set alarms on my phone to read my affirmations and list of things to be thankful for. I visualize and get emotionally involved with what I want and I use language that says I already have it.
Changes I’ve noticed healing my thoughts
The biggest change I’ve noticed thus far is no longer feeling like I’m being forced to be where I’m at, working where I work and living where I live. Feeling forced to be in this situation made me feel overwhelming sadness, frustration, anger, and impatient.
I became resentful towards my mother because I felt forced into having to take the opportunity she gave me to make some type of money. I couldn’t appreciate the blessings I did have when I felt like I was imprisoned.
Now that I don’t feel forced and I realize the control I do have, I’m having much better days at home and at work. I’m happier and managing stress better. There’s still work to be done, but I am nowhere near where I was and only getting better.
What did it take to start healing my thinking
Changing my thinking started with realizing that I truly do have the control to change things. I don’t have to wait for a better time and I for damn sure don’t have to wait for anyone else. I don’t even have to wait to see change, change can happen whenever I really want it to.
Like, right now. There’s no need to wait and I have full control. The more I remembered these things, the more empowered and in control I feel. The more I practice it in my day-to-day.
Changing my thinking also involved having the faith to stop action in order to work on my thoughts and prioritize my thoughts above action. When I first set out to try this entrepreneurship thing out full-time, actually, let’s take it a little further back.
When I decided it was time to leave my “secure” job to do this full-time, I jumped into action. The place pissed me off so much I jumped right into action and made moves to “quit.” In retrospect, I made the decision to leave out of a negative place and “quit” out of resentment.
If I were in a cooler more positive place, I would have kept my cool and used my income to build my next venture. I would have opted for the smoother transition. Lesson learned for sure. As a result, I’ve dealt with a lot of procrastination, put myself further into debt, and have allowed fears to drown out what I know about my strengths.
As a result, I’ve dealt with a lot of procrastination, put myself further into debt, and have allowed fears to drown out what I know about my strengths.
What happens when actions come before healing thoughts
Before acting on a decision, especially the major ones, I’m learning it is important to think correctly and deal with any underlining beliefs that might hinder progress. When we don’t deal with this step first, those beliefs will sabotage any efforts, stunt growth, and create more of what is trying to be changed.
I know this from experience. Any thoughts of lack, limitation, lingering poverty mindsets, doubts, and fears easily snuffed out progress and made me fall back into old habits. And I kept attracting the same bullshit I was sick of seeing. I kind of still do, but working on it.
Because there are bills and deadlines and I’m getting older, it isn’t easy to prioritize my thoughts and beliefs above my actions. But I am realizing the quicker I feel better, the quicker I can let things happened. The quicker I’ll be led to the good I want to see in my life and changes I want to make. I also know that without thinking better, I put in a lot of work without seeing the changes I wanted to see.
How I’ve worked on my thoughts for my health
With my health, I’ve also stopped action to work on my thoughts. That doesn’t mean I started eating crappy foods all the time and stopped working out. I just stopped following a super anal, ketogenic diet and went for a routine that fits my life like a glove.
I started focusing on making this journey about healing my body and healing my relationship with my appearance and my thoughts. So far, I’m more forgiving and find it easier to do what I know I want to do.
Being able to eat really large, real-food meals once a day makes this a treat. I’ve also started reminding myself of how attractive and shapely I am with beautiful skin and long hair. I give thanks for my butt and thick thighs and hourglass figure. I give thanks for my health and long, healthy nails. Thinking this way has helped.
Conclusion
Realizing my control, using affirmations, prioritizing thoughts over action, and having the faith to work on my thoughts first has already changed my life by leading me to conquer my fears and believe change is something I can do. Action before thoughts can hinder change, while thoughts before action
Fah sho!
Hi! I'm Latrice
2 Responses
Geekytricee,
I really have connected to your blogs. You have hit my own spirit in your experiences and struggle to stop the yo-yo diet and body image we struggle. Getting good help on this path to change. I’ve been in a slump for weeks now and a lot because I’m picturing FAILURE everywhere in my space. Thank you.
Only one thing bothers me…I know you are trying to be “real”, but the little words you interject sometimes is not necessary. I do THINK those sometimes to myself when get angry, but wouldn’t write them out online. Otherwise, you really can write with heart. Not being offensive, just how it affects me.
Thank you, cmt
Hi Cmt! Thanks for reading and sharing your thoughts. I’m grateful to connect with others through my writings. It’s a reason I share my story. And no offense taken. I appreciate the feedback. I write straight from my thoughts so what looks like me trying to be “real” is actually me just transcribing what I’m thinking. I’m learning. lol But I do see where you’re coming from and again thank you for your feedback.