Musings

The “Before”

I’m conducting an experiment. For the next year (whew, freaks me out to dedicate myself to a year) I’m going to pray, meditate, journal and read every morning. Rather I want to or not and regardless of where I’m at.

My theory: focusing on doing this daily will help me materialize my vision without forcing it.

I spent all of 2016 forcing and trying to change so I can move forward in life. By the end of the year, I had seen very little change where I wanted to see change.

I ended up changing in a way that took me further away from my goals and deeper into depression and addiction. I was struggling for realz. I was exhausted, disconnected, foggy, and lost.

The last two weeks of 2016 I had an epiphany of sorts. Making 2016 actually a pretty cool year. I sat my ass down and prayed. I meditated. I wrote about it. And I read one of my favorite books on opening the soul.

I did this every morning for a week. I came to the conclusion that 2016 wasn’t a failure at all; it was a bomb ass lesson and the perfect “before.”

Plus I was astonished by how quickly working on my thoughts changed things around. They didn’t change a lot, but I was back on my grind.

My mindset went from “poor little ol’ me” to “2017 bout to be lit.” Much better feeling.

What I’m hoping to do here is live healthier, happier, and more productively without forcing myself to get there. My vision will begin to materialize and I’ll share with you all my results and insights along the way.

I’m also hoping to inspire other black women lost in a heap of “trying” to give self-care and wellness routines and practices a try.

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